love is all there is... | |
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12:02 a.m. || 2002-10-22 | Here I sit at midnight, trying to smother my pain in hot syrup. I have an entire plate of french toast and eggs and fruit in front of me. I may make another plate, before I move on to other foods and finally into the bathroom to throw it all up. Sometimes I wish I had a friend, a real one. Alas, I dont and so must suffer the agony of life alone. I want to cry, but I can't. I did manage to cry once, barely. I think. It hurts too much when I cry. Why can't I just go to sleep and never wake up? Why must I be forced to go on living this nightmare that is my life? I hate how I look and my life. I hate that I dont have any friends, and that I am alone. I hate that I want to go get high. I hate that I can't. Mostly, I just hate me.
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