love is all there is...

It was cool outside which I found very refreshing. Winter is finally almost here. I love winter, even though it rarely snows here in Georgia. I jumped in my car and turned up the heater. It seems I'm always cold these days, which is fine with me. It's easier to get warm than it is to get cold.

The radio was humming softly, some unfamiliar tune. I thought about turning it up but decided I would rather ride in the quiet.

I live outside the city, but not quite in the country. Once it was farmland and forest, but shiny fast food joints and expensive grocery stores are being built like crazy. This is perfectly ok with me, since it makes it easier for me to do what I need to do.

I enjoyed the drive on the wet highway, smoking my Marlboro and cruising along, serene in my solitude, anticipating my binge and then of course mandatory purge. Ten o'clock and I was the only car on the road. Finally I arrived at my destination.

This is a small place, compared to the big city I have lived in for the last six years. In the city, the Blockbuster would have been full even on a Monday such as this, even at midnight. Here, it was empty. The two guys working there were chatting and watching a movie.

I commented on how hard they were working and walked briskly back to the new release section. What kind of movie did I want? Well I felt pretty dreary, so I wanted something nostalgic or whimsical. Something from a time far away from this one.

I settled on a DVD of the Count of Monte Cristo. Having seen the movie before, I recognized it as being something completely out of this world but emersed in it as well...a bit sad in places, mostly sadistic. Just what I needed.

After double checking the rest of the new releases to see if there was anything else worth spending binge money on and finding nothing appealing, I made my way to the snack shelving in the front.

Decisions, decisions. Being in a mood for chocolate, I chose a large movie size box of Milk Duds and Nestle Buncha Crunch. What more could one ask for than creamy caramel and crunchy chocolated rice? Heaven!

But I needed something to off set the sweets, as I wasn't done (I planned to stop at a convenience store since the grocery was closed). I grabbed a bag of Extra Butter popcorn and stepped up to the counter. The guy was eyeing me like I was a total pig, which I will admit I am.

Back into the car and across the street to the BP. Here I found a crowd. I hate crowds, but nothing was going to interfere with my movie night. I needed to do this. I forced an "I don�t give a fuck" feeling on myself and stepped into the bright store.

I knew exactly what I was looking for. Nothing like twenty five cent sickeningly delicious Little Debbie snacks. I picked a few out from the wide selection offered here.

Cosmic Brownies- gooey and covered in multicolored candies; Strawberry Shortcakes-a strawberry that is just damn sweet to resist rolled up in tight curls of angel food cake; Devils Food- sinful sandwichs of chocolate and luscious cream; Swiss Rolls-do I even need to comment?; Honeybuns-sticky and oh so good with hot butter. A myriad of different flavors to tantalize my tongue. Remembering I promised to bring bread back, I snagged a loaf of low cal wheat bread and headed to the counter.

Seven men were ahead of me, so I stood fidgeting while I waited for them to finish. They must have bought five of every 40 ounce beer in the store. Party time I imagine. I tapped my foot impatiently. They peered at me curiously as they exited the store. I recognized the cashier, and he greeted me. I noticed him staring at all the food so I made some lame excuse about having friends over, and that seemed to satisfy him. This guy was very sexy. Hispanic, with a very slight accent and clean cut. Delicious. If only I could eat him...

Finally back home, I find my mother still awake. So I sneaked the food into my room and deposited the bread on the counter. And that leaves me where I am now: ready to get lost in my own little world.

I plan to cook up a garden burger and dress it up in lovely vegetables and mayonaise to start out my binge.

Thoughts of food are becoming maddening. My mouth is watering and the Count is whispering my name so farewell for now