love is all there is...

Another Irregularity
9:50 a.m. || 2003-01-08
I really need to get a custom made template for this diary. If anyone reading can do something simple... I don't need anything complicated. I would appreciate it and as soon as I have some money I could maybe get something for you from Amazon. Email me or leave me a message :) School was interesting. I am not sure that I will like my classes, but then again perhaps I will. They will certainly be challenging. Lots of writing this semester :)

I lost a pound. I am very happy about that. Life is going ok, I guess, for now.

I have a chance to get this job at Wendy's but I am afraid. Afraid that my binging and purging will spiral even farther out of control if I am working in a food service establishment. Be that as it may, if I can not find another job soon, I will have to take this one. At least it is only until May, when I will be going to Germany for a month.

I can not wait to get to Germany. I need to get down to 95 pounds or so before I get to Germany, though. I can not let my aunt see me so fat.

I have been going crazy buying stuff. It is almost as if I am trying to purchase a brand new me, which of course is not working! Alas, if only it were so easy.

I am very pleased with how my exercise has been going. I have been doing 2 hours per day. Except for the weird spells of dizziness, faintness, and shaking with cold sweats, I feel pretty good about exercising.

I have started eating 1/4 of a powerbar for breakfast each day, as I am worried about my electrolytes. Powerbars have electrolytes, and they are yummy too. But so high in calories! So I only eat a little bit.

It's nearly time for me to take a shower, and then I have to clean house (yuck). After that, I am going to do my homework and I really want to write a new poem. I will be posting that later this evening if I have time.

Tomorrow I have to take my cat to get her spayed. I feel so bad for her :( I hope it doesn't make her less obnoxious or playful or fat, or hate me because I am the one taking her to get it done!

Ugh I have also been picking my eyebrows and my face again. I really need to knock that shit off. Sometimes it seems I spend hours just picking...

Well, anyway, I guess that is it until I post my new poetry.

I apologize for the irregularity of my updates, but life is busy and I haven't always got enough time to sit down and express myself here.



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