love is all there is...

I got quite a bit done today, exercise-wise. And it is already 5 and all I have had is a salad and some water and diet coke, so I am pretty happy about that too. I am going to give myself up to 700 calories each day, too.

S. is over at the moment, on the phone. He left the tattoo shop, because he is going to be working with a friend of his at a new shop. Apparently his old boss dude is really pissed and is calling him at work, talking shit to his manager about him stealing (which he didn't) so he is on the phone with the cops. Weird that at one time I would have freaked if the cops were on the phone, but now it is like no big deal really... even though I still don't like cops lol.

I am feeling pretty mellow today. I was aggravated earlier, but I am better now. I can't wait to start work! Bleh Spring Break is over though, so back to school tomorrow. The end of the year is the worst. So many essays and such coming up. I am so damn tired of writing essays, I tell ya!

S. is starting to annoy me, because sometimes when I have a problem, I mention it, and he compares it to himself. Like every issue I have he seems to find a way to decide he can understand it because he is similar, and he is not like me at all. I mean, we are alike in some regards, but I don't want him to think he understands everything I have in my head because he doesn't. It pisses me off for some reason, like he is taking something from me.

Anyway, I think I will write some poetry tonight maybe. I will post it tomorrow if I do, I guess.

I spent a lot of time online today, between driving my sister around (ugh, tired of doing this!) and exercising and cleaning.

I am a little frustrated because I have to get my car's transmission serviced and I really am very broke. I wanted to have some money to take to Germany, but who knows. Hopefully after this I can start saving...

I also want to go to the doctor before I leave the states to see if I can't get something for anxiety at least. I have decided not to medicate my hypomanic depression. I doubt it would help anyway, though I will mention it to my doctor. I guess I will try to go sometime next month if I am doing ok savings-wise.

I have been wanting to get high really badly lately. Like so bad...it is getting really hard to resist the need. But I can do it, hopefully. Hopefully. I can not go through that hell again. Not after everything I worked for to fix my life and give myself a chance.

I only have about 29.5 pounds to go before I reach my goal. I feel pretty confidant, today at least, that I can do it.

Anyway, I guess I better run for now. S. is off the phone etc.. I will probably update again tomorrow.