love is all there is...

Oink Oink
9:12 p.m. || 2003-03-29
Alright, I am back. I didn't intend to eat today, but I did eat a little. I didn't eat anything all day, then I got home and I ate, like an idiot.

I have had about 3 cups of lettuce with mustard, 1 cup of cocoa puffs dry, one popcorn cake, and 2 slices of cheese, and one serving fatfree pringles. It doesn't sound like much here, but it feels like way too much. I am an awful person. I hate my lack of self control. Sigh.

I feel so fat and disgusting. I am about to go exercise this food off. Hopefully I can keep from eating anything else, because as it stands I am not over 600 calories yet.

I will probably stick to fruit and yogurt and salad tomorrow. I guess I will allow myself as much lettuce as I want, as it doesn't have many calories, and limit to one yogurt and one apple. Somehow I need to sneak some protein in there...

I wanted to fast, but I think it is best if I don't. I don't want my metabolism to shut down any further than it already has.

The register was 40$ short today, but I know it wasn't my fault. I am very very careful with cash, and never have messed up like that. I know they think it was my fault. I am a failure. I failed, even though I know it isn't my fault.

Work was fine other than that. I already have 12 hours in. Tomorrow I will have another 6 or 7 :)

Also, my essay is half written. I can finish it up tomorrow or Monday. That will be a huge relief. Then I can start on my final research paper, and my Psych essay.

I guess I am going to go exercise now, but I just wanted to update about what a failure I am and how much I suck. 600 calories, shit. I am a pig.



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