love is all there is... | |
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5:04 p.m. || 2003-04-07 | I finally wrote something. Meh, I don't think it rocks, but it is certainly interesting. It took a little research, and a little more work than usual, because I wanted the theme to be just right... and I had to study a million musical terms before I could decide on the right ones to say what I meant, but it was worth it I guess. Luckily I used to play clarinet, so some of it was familiar. Behold: A composer beckons From afar, In my mind, it calls And calls A dangerous melody I hear, Miasmatic music notes Shimmer and disappear, The composition hovers ever near, An orchestration to make me crawl Into the space where notation falls, This empty staff swallowing me� and still� In my mind it beckons me From afar In my head, it calls And calls. A precarious lullaby I write Languid treble clefs Convulse and evolutionize, The composer demands a cadence now The symphony is here In my mind marching me Between the recitatives and fantaisies, Accidentals and cacophonies� What am I but these? Today has been good so far. Only around 200 calories (one cocoa, and 1/4 c cottage cheese) and it is already evening. I also got 1/3 of my final essay done, and my psych essay done, and turned in my third essay. I'm so relieved that it is all almost finished. Finally!!!! I can make it through today without purging, I know it! I feel good about this. :)
Edited in at 7:22pm:
I just had a salad with onion, radish, romaine and redleaf lettuce, and about 1.5 oz plain baked chicken breast on top of it. Probably about 150 calories or so, which isnt bad. I am trying not to binge and purge, so I am adding this stuff in. I need to remind myself why I am not going to purge: Because I want to lose weight, because it is bad for my body, because it won't fix anything, because if I start I won't get any rest tonight, because if I do it I won't get any studying done, because I will just feel worse tomorrow, because I have control of myself. I can make it through today. I can. I know it. Please god, let me make it through today.
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