love is all there is...

I purged the only food I ate yesterday.

I am a failure, I know. I should just give up. I am a fat cow. I hate how fat I am. I disgust myself. I am fasting currently, and I will continue until I am thin.

At last check I was at around 122.

Anyway, if I do eat, fuck it. I will just purge it. But only once a day maximum... and I will try not to do it at all. I still want to stop. It's just so fricking hard. I don't think it is possible for me to eat normally. I don't recognize when I am really hungry, or when I do eat I am not satisfied til I am so full that it hurts and then of course I have to purge.

I worked for a while today, then got off early and got some studying done for finals. I have to pass my finals, damn it. I refuse to take English Comp. again. Tired of writing fucking essays, you know? Lol.

Bleh. Well, I hate myself today. Nothing new there. Not much else to say. I hate to put another *miserable* entry in here, so I am going to go now. I will update again tomorrow or the next day, hopefully thinner than I am now. Probably, I will be fatter and more depressed, but let's hope not.

:)