love is all there is...

I woke up this morning a bit late, around 11 am. But that was ok since I was up til 3 am :) I made my coffee, chattered my aunts head off. She told me that some of the things I say could be taken in a bad way (sexual). I told her only if a person was thinking about that, which I wasn't which is why I never notice. I guess that was a hint for me to be careful how I say things. Whatever!

Anyway, after I had my vanilla flavored coffee, I jump roped barefoot for a bit, then got dressed and had a short bike ride, which I ended because of the neighborhood dogs scaring the crap out of me, and because Rowan was looking pretty haggard after all that running around to keep up with me. She is a pretty old dog, after all. I headed back to the house and jump roped some more, then I helped put a coat of varnish stuff on the last chair in this set (2 chairs, loveseat, table) my aunt got for the yard. Amazingly, I feel great after all of this. Sweaty, stinky, but great.

Next I have to do my laundry, and then some more jump roping, and maybe a shower cause ick I feel disgusting!

This weekend we were supposed to go to the Medieval fest but I guess we are not going now. Too bad, because I was really looking forward to it. I love those type of things, but have yet to go to one. Bleh.

I wrote mom an email, telling her how I want to be happier, how I want to learn to enjoy life more instead of being mired in my misery constantly. This sudden almost-happiness and hopefulness is quite unlike me. Well, not really, but usually it disappears overnight, giving way to my usual anger or depression. Such is the life of a hypo manic depressive I guess. I am holding on to this feeling for dear life, though. I want to feel hopeful and happy like this forever. It makes living a lot easier.

I have decided to keep inspirational quotes around me so I can read at least one every day, and try to add a new one every day. I was reading yesterday, some stuff on how to organize your life, be happier, etc and for some reason it made me feel great. The same thing happened the day before. This could be a major breakthrough for me. But, really, is probably just part of my mania atm, and will probably pass, but I will try to keep it. I need to work on being more positive and thankful for everything I do have, and forgive myself for my past failures. As my mom told me, no reason to stay mad at myself forever, as it will only make me mroe miserable and I will never get anywhere.

I only have one life. I might as well try to work on enjoying it while I have it. Before I am old and it's too late. I already feel like it is too late, sometimes! Also, I told mom that I want to do things she likes more, like make a big garden outside and help with Spring Cleaning, and organize the house, and have a yard sale next summer.

Bleh anyway, I am off to enjoy my mania. I feel like a superstar or something. Too bad I am not just manic, instead of hypo manic depressive. I feel like I can conquer the world today, like I can sprout wings and fly, or run around naked dancing in the moonlight to the music of the breeze blowing through the wheat fields invisible. Crazy crazy. Well, Til tomorrow then!