love is all there is...

Fighting Ugh.
11:47 a.m. || 2003-07-28
The last couple of days have been interesting, to put it mildly. I have been in Germany almost 90 days, and of course I have to leave after 90 days, since I didn't manage to get that job on the base and therefore have no visa or work permit, or residence permit etc. My uncle and my mom got in a big fight, and my uncle was screaming at me yesterday morning. It scared the bejesus out of me, and I stayed hiding in my room all day yesterday. I haven't eaten in nearly 24 hours, and the last things I did eat I threw up. I spent all day yesterday huddled shaking under the blankets, afraid of a confrontation. I seriously hate fighting. It freaks me out in a way that I can not even begin to understand, and I was scared to death. Stupid, but true.

I took like 5 million diet pills yesterday and was so high I thought my head would explode. Alas, it didn't, but I think I will chill on the diet pills for now.

My uncle seems to be in a better mood today, though, so that is good.

My aunt and uncle are trying to get me a plane ticket back home, now, before the 90 days are up. Hopefully I will be back home soon.

I bought a pack of cigarettes and am smoking again but will throw them away tonight and start over again tomorrow. I really can quit. I can do it. I must! I don't want to end up with emphysema or cancer.

For some reason I can't seem to access TF which is really disturbing me.

I did scrub the upstairs bathroom, which makes me feel better, and my aunt seems to have cleaned the house while I was in hiding. Thank goodness.

Well, I shall return later for another update, or perhaps tomorrow. Depends on if anything interesting transpires between now and then.



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