love is all there is... | |
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1:22 p.m. || 2003-08-13 | Small update, not much to comment on. I will describe my prague trip more in detail at a later time, and I have some cool handwritten entries from Italy that I will post in here when I get home (17 days!). The heat still hasn't broken, but I am managing, though I have to leave my windows open at night and therefore have become a feasting ground for mosquitos :) I haven't been sleeping well, but I have been eating almost normally (1000 to 1200 calories/day yikes). I kinda have to since my uncle said something really freaky and made me think he knows about my um issues. I was mentioning all the skeletal people I saw in Czech, and he said, well that's what you get when you are bulimic. I said .. What?? He said, well thats what you get, skeletal and a heart attack, when you are bulimic. I managed a blank look and said, what are you talking about. So I am forcing myself to eat normally as possible til I leave here, then I will resume my weightloss efforts. I did end up puking last night, but I didn't force it. I got so sick and I couldn't stop it. It was awful. Maybe I have a flu... Dunno.. Anyway, here is that poem I promised but never put up :) Enjoy! How to Escape In a moment it's lost In naught but a breath it's lost... a self, an idea, a wish or two. Its in the summer, haze and heat, flickering between heart beats that you begin to see it; yourself as you might be. Dusty and sun blistered, a snapdragon tucked behind your ear, perfect summer afternoon- you paused, just there under the heat shimmered palm trees, a hairy coconut in hand, white straw poised against dry summer chapped lips... you took a breath and saw yourself outside yourself... under the glare of the wicked hot sun... painted feet burrowed into sand. But as you exhaled sipped your coconut drink... suddenly, you realized, it wasn't you. A moment ago, you swore it could've been you, washed in jasmine and glow and laughter. Why did you remember to breathe?
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