love is all there is...

I am still here at you know where's, but I might have only 2 days to find somewhere else to go. I am sober though and intend to stay that way.

He's gonna take me back to the hotel if in two days I dont find a better place to go. I hope to god I can find somewhere or that I dont have to go.. I don't know where my dad is, but , I dont know if hed let me go there anyway. He can barely take care of himself. I just want to get a job and save money and move in with David in a month or two, and then finish college.

But because of my little mistake and my eating disorder (which btw i have not thrown up since all of this started.. been too busy crying myself to sleep everynight). .. it seems my dreams will never come true.

I honestly pray each night that I wont have to wake up the next day.

God apparently refuses to listen.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know how a family could turn thier backs because of a mistake I made.

Yes I have made a lot. But I would never do that to them. They have made a lot as well, and still I would give them everything I had if they needed it.

But then, I guess that is why I am different than they are.

I will make it. I have no idea how. I am in utter despair right now.

But I will make it somehow.

I am struggling to keep my head above water. But I haven't drowned yet.