love is all there is...

sleepy
10:27 p.m. || 2004-04-09
The job is going ok, I guess. Most the other girls who work there are way prettier than me. Either way though it is a paycheck and I guess that is what matters. I like it, at least. Though it is much more fun when its busy.

Tomorrow I have a long day, but then off for two days, so that will be nice.

I haven't been throwing up lately.

I mean not that I don't want to, just no privacy or time really. Guess that is a good thing? Bleh.

One good perk of my job is lots of clothing discounts.

Another is lots of exercise.

On my days off I'll job 30 min per day or so , but really, when I work I am walking pretty fast for like 3 to 6 or more hours straight.

I love that part :)

On another note, I wish I could hurry up and go away to Uni. I hate being here sometimes, and I feel like such a horrible out of place, burden.

Its so fucked up but I am noticing that, I can be gone all day and not think a bit about food. Ill have a salad or something, a diet coke, latte... and not think about it.

But soon as I walk in the door I feel this panic like I have to eat, my head starts arguing, i want to b/p or exercise like a maniac or weigh myself 50 times and then smack myself when I read the scale.

But leave the house? And usually I am fine.

Hm. Well I have been going about 1000 cal/day or 900 per day since I started work.. no binges, or purges.

Anyway I am exhausted and just thought I would let people know I am alive. Have been very busy but I really must schedule in time for this diary and for my friends (like Claire and emailing her) and TF etc. I can't let life suck me away...

This sleepy girl is off to bed.



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