love is all there is...

I got my taxes back (well, my federal ones) and so I bought a game and an aerobic step. I feel guilty for wasting the money but I did also put some aside for the dentist, and paid a bill thats 2 years overdue and I still have 150 left so I guess thats ok.

I was going to buy some nice "Adult" clothes (ie slacks, a couple blouses vs my usual print tees, sweatshirts, and jeans), but then it struck me how gigantic I am atm and I decided I need to work out more than I needed clothes. I don't really deserve them.

Mom is coming to visit in June which is really weird to me. Shes like a different person the last year or so, but I am thankful dont get me wrong.

I have a new short story I wrote for Creative Writing, but I still want to mess with it more, and it is 11 pages so I dont want to post it here lol.

Its all snowy outside, white blanket making everything perfect, pristine. But the edges are painted black with sludge from the road ruining it. It reminds me of how I feel about myself. Like the sludge on the sleek beautiful snow mucking it all up.

Anyway, I want to go do some more situps and work on my homework (I have a ton and its hard to concentrate) before I have to go out with T. tonight (we are going to see Constantine and supposed to go out to eat but I think I will try and find a way around that...maybe suggest we eat in and then I can not eat.)

I hate how guilty I feel for spending that money on myself.

I really should just return it all but I really want to lose weight and I am so disgusting I can't bring myself to go to the school gym in front of people.

Blah blah ok enough moaning.

Claire if you see this, here is a hugs *hug*

Jo