love is all there is...

I actually had a very nice Christmas this year. (Really, very nice Christmases, as I celebrated several times). Mom got me a ticket and I went to visit her and my sis and my nephew. We had a lovely time. My nephew must have thought I was his personal playtoy, though. He is so big and smart! I can't believe how much he has grown since I last saw him.

I helped cook, and we feasted well. Mom didn't have the money for a Honey baked ham, which she always gets, so me and my sister split the cost to surprise her with one. We all also ended up wearing matching pj's all day on Christmas, which was dorky but fun!

My second holiday celebration was when I got home from Georgia. My boyfriend and I had a quiet night at home, opening gifts and such. He is so great. It was funny, though, to see the bookcase he got me. It was upside down! In fact, it still it. I decided to leave it that way. I don't have the heart to make him turn it around lol!

I also picked up a new hobby thanks to my boyfriend. He got me some packets of Magic the Gathering cards, and now I am a total addict!

After a day at home in PA, I went on to Canada for just under a week to visit my best friend. We had lots of fun, and his family was great. Toronto is a crazy, interesting city. We, too, had a mini celebration opening gifts, but really it was not as Christmasy as the other two celebrations.

I arrived home after the New Year had already passed, tired but content. I even managed to control my purging at mom's (and at Anthony's for the most part).

Did I mention that I have been going to therapy? Ah , well. I am not all better yet, but I am trying hard. Therapy is very difficult for me. I didn't realize it would be such a challenge. It is strange to open up to my therapist, and he pushes me sometimes about things I am trying hard to forget about. But I think it is helping.

My weight is stable at about 104-106 at the moment, though it dropped to 102 a couple of weeks ago. I can wear a size 1-2 now, which I love, but which everyone else is complaining about. Well, what do they know. I guess I should be wanting to gain up to 111 which is a healthy weight for me, because I am in therapy right, but I want to lose more still. Anyway, enough of that.

Classes are going well this semester. I did have to drop one, so I am only taking 4, because I just didn't have time to fit in all my nurse and therapist and doctor appointments on Tues/Thurs without missing a ton of classes on those days.

I love my independant study on Form Poetry. Right now I am working on sestinas and tankas. The sestina is amazingly fun to write! I am in love with the form.

Speech class is...well...speech class. I hate it, but I will get through it. At least I have a small class, and everyone is nice.

And GREAT NEWS!!!!!!! I AM GETTING A CAT! I told T. rather than asking him, this time, as my therapist said I need to make our house *ours* rather than *his*, which is how it has felt to me...as if I am a guest who has overextended her stay..apparently I was supposed to take a part of the house and make it my own, but he said that getting a cat of my own counts, as I am saying, hey I live here too, I have a voice...or something.

I should be looking around the end of February to the beginning of March. T. wants me to get an Ocicat, but I don't want one. At first I conceded, but that is not what I am supposed to be doing... I am supposed to stand up for myself, so I told him yesterday that I am getting whatever kind I want. He can help me pick out the actual cat I get, but the breed, and final decision, etc. are up to me. I need some control of my life! I don't think he likes this, but he didn't argue too badly.

I wish I could go right now and pick one out and put a deposit on her (yes I am getting a girl), but I have to wait for the remainder of my loans to process.

Also, I have been elected president of a club at my school too, which is keeping me hectic. However, I enjoy it, despite the extra workload. It is a literature group, mostly focused on poetry. This weekend we have to do a service project, so I have to do a lot of baking for it. Technically I am on a fast starting today, so I hope I won't screw up while baking brownies.

Anyway, that is my life up to the moment. I am still an emotional wreck sometimes, but I am doing much better. At least I am not researching suicide methods anymore. I am happy once in a while. Eventually, I hope, I can have a very pleasant life, or something like it.

Jo