love is all there is...

Not to mention my gag reflex is gone, but I am getting better at puking by just leaning over and willing it.

Mom made me a nice little pillar holder for me for Christmas, was very sweet of her. Its a small, round, glass bowl with some red taffeta-like material trimmed in gold and ruffled around the base and holiday potpourri decorations. And a raspberry pillar candle, that has lovely little squares of varying colors of reds and creams and such.

I am not going to eat today. Nothing. Fuck it. Im never going to eat again, I swear. I can't do it. Everytime I eat, I end up binging and purging, and even though I love it (hate it?) it takes so much time. I wasted 50 dollars in the last two weeks on it alone.

This is a boring update. Its a regular update. No tricky words, or weird ponderings. Just me, here, telling you my fucking suck life.

The success and failure of each day is weighed on the scale for me. Today is a failure: I gained a pound since yesterday.

I pray each morning before I step on the scale, plead with it, to go down.

Alas, I have failed alot lately.

Hence the decision to not eat. No food=no weight gain, right? I sound so blah in this update. I should never post anything stupid such as this again. It makes me feel stupid, for writing so carelessly, as if I am abusing or neglecting the english language.

I despise my job.

So that is today's update. I promise tomorrow I will write some crazy thing to portray my daily events with. But until then, you have to deal with this...this thing I have written, that was spawned by today's lack of imagination.