love is all there is...

Yesterday...

It still looks like the clouds want to rain, but they are still holding out. I sit here chatting with B., completely emersed in surfing the internet, moderating my forums, checking email, etc. Suddenly, the power goes out. The computer screen flickers off, the fans die, and thunder rolls in the distance. Rowan panics, and I try to pet her on the head, comfort her. I sigh and trudge downstairs. I am bored, then I am pacing around the downstairs, alternating between running, walking, jump roping and running up the stairs. Eventually this becomes boring, as well, as there is no music or sound, just the rain which has finally decided to fall. I go back upstairs, and lay on my bed. I stare at the ceiling. I munch on some red cabbage, which I dip in fat free mayo, and flip through the pages of some german fashion catalogue. I decide that they use one model entirely too much, the one who is fatter than the other two (in the young fashion section). I close it, pick up a book, try to read. I can't concentrate. I bite into an onion, then toss the rest of the food on the plate into the trash. I stare at the cieling some more, do some jumping jacks, some situps.

I hear a car pull up. My aunts mini chihuahua's start barking like crazy, which pisses me off. I sit on the floor in my room for a moment longer, then go down to say hi. It is still dark in the house from the power being out.

My aunt and uncle come inside, shake off the rain, and ask why I didn't answer the door when the neighbors came over. They had sent the neighbors over to see if I was ok because I hadn't answered the phone. I didn't hear the neighbors knock, and the power was out so the phone didn't ring. I explain this to them. They turn some thing in a box, and the power comes on. They look relieved. My uncle asks me if I want to go out to eat. I hesistate, and he looks at me all expectant. I shrug, say sure, and go upstairs to get dressed. I throw on some loose jeans (all my jeans are loose) and my favorite hoodie and off we go.

We arrive at some Bistro in Parsberg. I am not hungry at all, but I order a milkshake and a burger and some fries. The food is immaculate, and though I don't intend to eat more than a bite, the plate ends up 3/4 empty.

After a nice conversation, we all wobble (bellies overstuffed) outside to the bank, then to the car.

I have already decided, five seconds after my first bite, that I will have to throw up. So when we stop at the Esso gas station for icecreams, I grab a pint. My uncle grabs another pint for my aunt, who decides in the car she doesn't want it.

We get home and I go up to my room, turn on some Tori Amos and the fan. I practically inhale the Smarties icecream. I lean over and puke my brains out. The icecream, the fries, ketchup, burger, garlic bread (which is made with real chunks of garlic and spicey tomatoes) and finally the cabbage and onion.

I go downstairs, rinse my mouth out, curse myself out for throwing up twice in one day. I remember that I am not supposed to be doing that.

I eat the other pint (some Lion stuff, caramelly chocolately crispy mmm), and a bag of (light) popcorn. Barf it up too. Take some allergy pills and sit in bed until 2 am trying to read, finally fall asleep.

And that brings me to today. I should definately be feeling bad about all the puking yesterday (three times). But I really don't. It was sublime (if a bit painful), and it tasted great coming in and going out.

Anyway, I am sure you are tired of hearing about my puke-capades, so on to other things.

It still looks quite dreary outside today. I am trying to figure out what else to talk about. I mentioned B. in my last entry, but I guess I should tell all of you who he is, in case I haven't before.

B. is this guy I used to date, but we broke up. Well, I broke up with him because I am an idiot. You have all read about how screwed up I am with men. B. is very nice and patient and smart and fun. He is a hard worker, and a good guy. We have been talking again lately. I think that is a good thing. So that, in short, is who B. is.

My aunt is gone right now, so I am here all alone. I am bored, as usual, and can't think of much else to tell you. I have already imparted you with all of the wisdoms that I currently have (snicker).

I think I will go shower and watch tv and exercise. Until next time :)