love is all there is...

Today I can't eat for some reason.

I mean I have thought about it but I can't. I keep thinking about the bathtub.

I got some packing done today. I am about halfway done. I also filled out some applications for a temporary job until I move mid february.

It will be nice to get away from here, to be with David, who understands me so well, who forgives me so well.

I have been sleeping so much...blissfully lost in my nightmares and dreams, sweetly oblivious to the hideous mess that is my life.

I wish I could sleep forever.

Do I want to die right now? I am not sure, but, I don't think so, if only because were I to die, I could not live out my life with David.

But it hurts to be alive, that much I know.

Why though?

This is the question I must find the answer to.